A few weeks ago, I found myself with more drive time than usual and decided to listen to an audiobook I’d been curious about for a while: The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin. The premise is simple—people respond differently to internal and external expectations, and Rubin groups those responses into four tendencies: Obliger, Upholder, Rebel, and Questioner.
I’ll admit, I was skeptical at first. But it didn’t take long before I could clearly see myself in one of the tendencies and, just as importantly, recognize how others in my work and personal life might fall into different ones. That insight felt familiar, because it reinforced something I see every day in my work with leadership teams: conflict often has very little to do with intent, and a lot to do with style.
Most team conflict isn’t personal—it’s predictable
More and more, the challenges leaders bring to us aren’t about lack of skill or commitment. They’re about friction. Miscommunication. Frustration. People talking past each other or making assumptions about motives.
When we dig in, the root cause is often simple: people are wired differently.
The more self-aware you are, and the more you understand how the people around you think, communicate, and make decisions, the better your team functions. Without that understanding, teams tend to waste energy venting, avoiding issues, or quietly building resentment. With it, differences become something to manage intentionally, rather than something to “deal with.”
Shared language is where the real value shows up
Self-awareness has long been a cornerstone of emotional intelligence, and it’s why tools like DiSC, MBTI, or strengths-based assessments continue to be so popular. In my experience, the biggest benefit of these tools is the shared language they create.
When a team has common terminology, people can talk about differences without judgment. I recently watched this play out in a workshop when a participant joked that her DiSC style can come across more directly than someone with a more relationship-focused approach. Everyone laughed, but more importantly, everyone understood what she meant.
That’s team intelligence in action: groups that work better together because they understand one another, value differences, and adjust instead of escalating tension.
What else sets highly effective teams apart?
While assessments can be a powerful starting point, they’re only one piece of the puzzle. Highly intelligent teams also tend to share a few key characteristics:
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Clear, lived core values that shape how people treat one another day to day
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Intentional team-building, not just once a year, but as an ongoing priority
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A process for relationship repair when conflict becomes deep or recurring
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Strong leadership that addresses real issues head-on, including unclear priorities, resource constraints, or toxic behavior
When these elements are missing, no assessment can “fix” a team. When they’re present, assessments help accelerate understanding and alignment.
A quick overview of common assessment tools
There’s no shortage of tools available, and different situations call for different approaches. Here’s a high-level look at some of the most common ones and where they tend to be most helpful:
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Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)
Categorizes people into 16 personality types based on four dichotomies. Often used for understanding preferences and work styles.
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CliftonStrengths (formerly StrengthsFinder)
Identifies an individual’s top strengths out of 34 themes, with a focus on engagement and performance.
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DiSC
Measures behavior across Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Conscientiousness. Particularly effective for improving communication and reducing conflict.
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Enneagram
Defines nine personality types, focusing on motivations, fears, and growth paths. Helpful for deeper interpersonal insight.
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Big Five Personality Traits (OCEAN)
Assesses Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism. Strongly backed by psychological research.
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Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Assessments
Tools like EQ-i 2.0 or MSCEIT that measure self-awareness, empathy, and social skills—critical capabilities for leaders at every level.
The right tool is the one that fits your team
No single assessment is “best.” The value comes from choosing the right tool for your goals and pairing it with thoughtful facilitation and follow-through. Used well, these tools don’t put people in boxes; they give teams permission to understand each other better and work together more effectively.
I’m always interested in hearing what’s worked for others. Did I miss a tool you’ve found valuable? Which one made the biggest difference for your team, and why?
Feel free to reach out to me at Amy.Cell@yeoandyeo.com. I’d love to continue the conversation.
